Severed
by katsparkle13
Summary: You probably think you know all about the 74th Hunger Games. You know who won and you celebrated their victory and then moved on. Well, some of us can't. We weren't just a name. We each had a story. And our plans never to be forgotten were severed. Will you remember? All in one-shot each.
1. Clove: If I die Young

_If I die young, bury me in satin_

_lay me down on a bed of roses_

_sink me in the river at dawn _

_send me away with the words of a love song_

Being forgotten has always been my biggest fear. Oh, I know what you're thinking. You probably think because my name is Clove it means I can't be scared. If you even remember my name. Well, I was scared. My life was going to be ended in one blow. So the truth is; I was terrified. My killer's eyes had just a spark of sadness. Maybe he realized that we're all capable of fear. We're all just a bunch of scared kids who will do anything to live. Or maybe he realized that the small girl he has in his grasp really isn't too much bigger than the one he is trying to avenge. The look right before death is the same for everyone. Isn't that funny?

_Lord, make me a rainbow I'll shine down on my mother_

_she'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors,_

_life ain't always what you think it ought to be_

_ain't even gray but she buries her baby_

My older sister was the only motherly figure I'd ever known. She was ten years older, so I guess that's enough. My father was never the parental type. My sister and I were shipped off to the training academy when most girls were still in pigtails. I remember we both trained so hard, determined for approval from someone. We would never earn his. Well, my sister missed her chance to volunteer. My father never let her forget that. It was just one second too late. But isn't that always the case? I still can see all those nights full of sobbing and pleading, only to begin a morning with her black and blue. Sometimes, if the alcohol he drank got the best of him, he would remind me why I don't have a mother. I kicked too hard or something. There was too much blood. The only fact I can really get from it is; I started life just like I ended it. A killer.

_The sharp knife of a short life _

_well, I've had just enough time_

Those knives gave me a sense of something I'd never known. For once, I could be in control. Not like at home, where nothing I could do would keep him from hurting her. Not like when the training center closed for the night and my sister and I would have nothing to eat. When I first hit the target with my first lightweight knife I knew I had power. And it was power over something that really mattered. Only I could choose between life and death. One small blade would be all it took. Kills became numbers. As they grew higher, it meant I could win. I could make sure I would never be hungry again. My sister would never go sleep with another bruise. So throwing knives was about more than controlling when others would die. They controlled my own life as well. What have I had enough time to do? I've had plenty of time to see death. I've had time to know what it feels like to be truly hungry. But I've also had enough time to prove myself as someone more than the small, underfed girl who plays with knives. You wouldn't know, but I've also had time to fall in love.

_And I'll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom._

_I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger._

_I've never known the loving' of a man,_

_but it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand_

It is true to say I've never been in love with a man. We were just kids. We still are. I was ten years old when I first met him. I had been moved up to a class with mostly thirteen year olds and he was the biggest. One of the boys teased me a lot, calling me names that made my face turn red with shame. He told me I couldn't survive a second in the Games. So I challenge him to some hand-to-hand. He turned to laugh to one of his buddies, so I took advantage of his back turned and flipped him. I held my knife at his throat and whispered "kill" like we're supposed to. He sprinted away and so did everyone else, but that big kid with the blond hair stayed. "You're okay" was all he said. We became sparring partners. I learned that his name was Cato and he laughed when I told him mine. He thought I was lucky to have around whenever he practiced with swords or spear throwing so he called me "Clover." He never did miss his target when I was around. We became those two kids who always had a serious look on our face and stayed at the Center long after dark. We were the two "mysterious ones." It was a mystery in itself how we came to be so close, the tiny dark haired girl who doesn't say a single word in training besides "kill" and the arrogant muscular giant who boast about anything and everything. But only he could bring out my sarcastic sense of humor and only I could get him to really truly laugh. The night I told him I was going to volunteer I told him everything, like how I just wanted to prove my father wrong. I couldn't take another day. He held my hand and we both cried. Careers never cry, you think. Well, he said he would volunteer too. He would protect me until the end. And he would let me win.

_There's a boy here in town, says he'll love me forever,_

_who would have known forever could be severed_

_by the sharp knife of a short life_

_well I've had just enough time_

He slipped away. Like so many other times, I lost control. I don't know what sealed the deal for him. The deal that he made with himself to win. It could have been the spotlight he got at the interviews or the parade. Maybe after he got such a high training score he figured he could really do this. I knew as soon as we entered the arena that I wanted to go back. Why was I here? I couldn't trust the one person who had complete control. Still, I went on with the plan. I didn't even question him when he let Lover Boy join the alliance, which meant I was _protecting _the weakling. I didn't even think twice when he practically let Fire Girl walk away, leaving us with one less member. Never mind, that idiot Shimmer or whatever was making Cato into some trap for sponsors with her. Cato and I could never be the "lovers." Not when I was so much younger, and not as pretty besides. That was how she thought. As if. Now I know he was purposely letting the competition get away unharmed. The more tributes there are left, the less likely he'll be the one who has to kill me. He was right. Something changed, though. He was no longer brutal Cato. As he held me in his arms, he was weak. I told him to kill them all. For us. For the forever that was severed.

_So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls._

_What I never did is done._

Thresh killed me because I told Fire Girl "we" killed Rue. Why did I say that? What is "we"? There never was a "we." I just wanted to have power in that moment. I wanted to feel like I could have offed every tribute here if I wanted to. I learned something from all of this. Words can kill as easily as a knife. My lie is what got me here. His words still echo. _"Did you kill her?" "No, please, no, no! Cato! Cato!" _I just lost it. I called his name because I had nothing else to hang on to. I knew it was hopeless, but I wanted him to know that I was still here. I wanted him to know that unlike him, I hadn't left yet. And as much as I spent my whole life trying to prove otherwise, I needed someone else.

_A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar_

_they're worth so much more after I'm a goner_

_and maybe then you'll hear the words that I've been singing_

_funny when you're dead how people start listening_

Honestly, what could one girl ever amount to? It's not like anyone ever listened to me when I was alive. After all, Careers don't really think at all, right? He listened. He knew. How can I forget the last night we spent together before I lost him, on the train ride, when he heard my muffled cries behind the wall? The look on his face was a mask of emotions, from pity to sadness to confusion. "Why are you crying Clover?" His voice sounded so soft. Why was I crying? Was it because even with him at my side, I could still never get home? Was it because I was thinking of the way Cato's hand first felt and the little flutter I got in my stomach whenever he was around and now all those moments could be gone forever? So I poured everything out to him. Like how I was always a killer and I'm just sick of it. I'm sick of hearing that word "kill." I sobbed and sobbed and I just lost control again. But it felt good. It felt good because he was there to help me get it back. It sure is funny, because Fire Girl's listening to me. I know I personally haunt her nightmares. Good. I mean so much more to her dead then I ever did alive. Lover Boy remembers me. He painted me once, I saw him. I was arranging my knives in the picture. Fire Girl didn't pay much mind, though. I bring back painful memories. Am I no longer the brutal assassin? Has she realizes that I was only fourteen? Have I become, not someone who takes the lives of others, but in turn someone whose own life couldn't be saved by her? I will never know. I won't soon be forgotten, though.

_If I die young, bury me in satin_

_lay me down on a bed of roses_

_sink me in a river at dawn_

_send me away with the words of a love song_

I often wonder what's become of my sister, or my father, or all the rest of the people I've ever known. Do they think of me often? Do pleasant memories of a rare smile or a shimmering dress on television come to mind? Do they have proud memories of a tribute with a glare of stone during the Parade, or a confident smirk at training or the high score she got in return? Or are they nightmares of an insane girl who could never be loved taking out any competition with a flick of her wrist and an expressionless face; the kind of nightmares that still manage to creep on you in the middle of the day. Just like everything else, they will fade. My name will be nothing but a whisper carried by the wind, until the day it disappears forever.

_The ballad of a dove_

_go with peace and love_

_gather up your tears and put them in your pocket_

_save them for a time when you're really gonna need them._

I can assure you no one covered me in flowers or sang to me softly so that I might go peacefully. Sometimes I find myself wishing that would have happened. Maybe then my name could mean more. But what's done is done. All that happened was a vicious boy kneeling down at my side, begging me to stay. I didn't, obviously. I betrayed him. After all those times he listened to me, when he first asked me to pay him some mind, I didn't listen the one time it counted. Oh, he didn't cry though, and neither did I. I had cried twice in my life as far as I knew and that was enough. Crying is a sign of weakness. We were strong until the end. Not like it mattered.

_The sharp knife of a short life_

_well, I've had just enough time._

_So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls._

Our "forever" was severed. Who knows what kinds of lives we could have led? But there is no more "us." Maybe there never even was. I could say I hate the Capital for that, for tearing us apart with their twisted Games. I could say I hate Thresh for taking me away from the one thing I've ever loved. I could say I hate Fire Girl and Lover Boy, who prevented Cato and me from playing the "lovers" angle, even though anyone could see they never felt for each other. And I could say I hate Cato, for never telling me if I was ever more than just a piece in his own little games and for not ever saying those three little words that would let me know there was an "us." Yes, I could say I died with hate for them all weighing down my heart. But that would be a lie.

You see, the only person I've ever really hated is myself.


	2. Cato: Come away

_Come away little lass come away to the water_

_To the ones that are waiting only for you_

_Come away little lass come away to the water_

_Away from the light that you always knew_

_We are calling to you_

Our shouts fill the trees. We are fearless. Each one of us has our own reason to take her down. You wanted to hunt her down because Fire Girl and her Lover took that angle away from us. We were the lovers. That was us. They have nothing together. But I said "were." Can't you see that now that these Games have started, we could never get home together? Why would we still have love? I have to win. Maybe I said otherwise once, in the heat of the moment with a thoughtless mind, absorbed in my own love. So you see, love is distracting. It is dangerous. So I have to leave it behind. All promises will get left behind once in the arena. Why can't you understand that? I call for Fire Girl, who stole the light from all of us. It was always her who shone brighter than the rest. Well, now I personally will take that light away from her.

_Come away little light come away to the darkness_

_In the shade of the night we'll come looking for you_

_Come away little light come away to the darkness_

_To the ones appointed to see this through_

_We are coming for you_

_We are coming for you_

The fire's embers begin to fade. As I look around me, I realize that all of us look the same when we sleep. You look so small. I stare up at Fire Girl's own sleeping form. I know I'm letting her get away. I could have scaled that tree easily if I wanted to. Careers never miss. But I didn't want to. Something held me back. The more tributes are left, the more likely your death will be at one of their hands. I won't be the one responsible. I will kill her later, when you are dead. I'm the one appointed to see this through. It's what I've been training my whole life for. Scenes of sword making their mark on clay dummies and my father's own proud face come to mind. I will be the one who brings my district glory. I am coming for you, Katniss. I am coming for you, Fire Girl.

_Come away little lamb come away to the water_

_Give yourself so we might live anew_

_Come away little lamb come away to the slaughter_

_To the ones appointed to see this through_

_We are coming for you_

_We are coming for you_

There is a "we" now. We can win together. Rules should never be changed, but they have been. We aren't the only ones benefited. With every rule change there is always a catch. Why would anything benefit just the two of us? No one cares about the two Careers from 2, determined to finish this. They only have eyes for the other Lovers. The ones who don't even feel for each other. We hunt them down together. Everyone knows hunting is more efficient when done with another. If they give themselves to us, we will live. We will win. Our entire district will have pride in the both of us. We are so close. We will see this through. "Give them a good show." Now, where is our little lamb? She is the girl who is so innocent. She is the girl who doesn't know what killing is. She has never been forced to watch the light slowly leave her victim's pleading eyes. She has never heard the screams that pierce your head long after they are dead. But she has never had true control. I can control who lives and who dies. And she is going to die.

_Come away little lamb come away to the water_

_To the arms that are waiting only for you_

_Come away little lamb come away to the slaughter_

_To the one appointed to see this through_

_We are coming for you_

_We are calling for you_

_We are coming for you_

I am one. My own lamb has been taken away. You have been slaughtered like the rest. Why did you call for me? You knew it was hopeless. Was I the one thing you could hang onto? My arms were waiting only for you. You were so weak and small in death. I begged and pleaded with you to stay. Why didn't you? I had no control. No, the cameras never caught it. The nation will never know about us, the lovers that never were. They will never see a Career showing emotion. They will never hear of our love. Your name will be nothing more than a whisper carried by the wind until it disappears forever. I won't let it disappear. I will always remember my first love. I never cried though. Not one tear was shed. I had a mission to do in your name. So I hunted him down. It was what I was appointed to see through. As I raised one of your own knives to his cheek, I whispered, "Did you even know her name?" His eyes were so wide with fright, like I'm sure yours must have been. You were never afraid back home. "No," was all he said. It was enough. I killed him like you would have, with no mercy. When I was done I stood up and called your name as the rain poured down my face. But you never answered. So now I call for someone knew. She is the only way you will never be forgotten. Katniss, I am coming for you.


	3. Thresh: Something to Remember

_I spend my life becoming invisible_

_It's hard to maintain_

_And it's hard to recall_

_Fight or flight setting in_

_I have no introduction_

_I just breathe it in like the air_

_And there's nothing to remember_

My memories of you were fading. All those years we spent running through the tall grass or the apple trees, all the moments we shared swinging from branches and sharing secrets in that warm glow of the sun were slipping through my fingers. It's hard to remember the exact moment my days turned cold. Maybe it was when you were taken away from me and put into the arena. Maybe it was when you tripped and couldn't get away. Those are the moments I tell myself are the reason I can no longer feel the sun. But I know the real reason and so do you. It was that moment when you tore off the bracelet I had given to you as a token, all those moments of me painstakingly weaving the strands gone away. It was the moment you slipped into your own mind, twisted by the Games. When you left, there was no reason for the fire of rebellion to keep burning in me. I just did what they said, breathing it in as if it were nothing to think about anymore. People can no longer remember you as that sweet innocent girl who played in the tall grass with her friend. You are just another faceless victim. And now, five long years later, now that I myself was reaped, is the same thing happening to me?

_I owe you nothing that's all I've got for you_

_And you'll borrow nothing, that's what you expect of me_

_So send me a lot of out thin sailor's knots_

_And I fear underneath _

_Your radiant thoughts_

_My footsteps will echo loudly_

No, I didn't owe Fire Girl anything. She would never know. Perhaps she thought I saved her life for her protecting little Rue from my district. No, it was another girl I was avenging. It was a little girl I had failed to save, one who had entered this arena years ago. I had only noticed that the killer was a girl from 2, the same district as the girl that killed you, my sun. In just that moment, all I saw was the number on her back. That's why I saved you, Fire Girl. I owe you nothing and the same goes for you. I can see though that your fire has yet to die. One day the embers will go out, just you wait. But that day is not today. So for now, your thoughts are those of light. And unlike me, others will listen. So you can help me with one thing. All I want is to be remembered. Even if I can't remember who I was, maybe you can.

_All I owe all I owe_

_Strides I spend to the finish line_

_All I owe all I owe_

_Strides I spend to the finish line_

_I'll give you those_

During those last few days in the arena, there was a new kind of fire in me. It was a different kind, almost cold. It was a burning desire to win. One not to be forgotten. But to do that, I would have to kill. I saw it coming, just not like it did. It was just a number. 2. But it was the number that caused me to lose you. And she was playing with Fire Girl, taunting her. I couldn't watch it anymore as I thought of my own ally, whose name that girl was saying. Little Rue reminded me so much of you. So I held onto her, the insane killer in my grasp. She really was small. And you know; she was weak too. Almost like a porcelain doll. When I looked into those eyes, I saw the eyes of your killer, though she has been dead for five years. I saw the same black hair, pale skin and the spray of freckles across her nose. Now I know that if I looked closer, those wide green eyes held nothing but fear. And oh, how she screamed. It was such a horrible noise, one of utter helplessness as she called for her partner. I had heard his name, Cato, in training. I never put the pieces together. They were close, lovers even. He never came. He was just a second too late. But isn't that always the case?

_You told me something_

_That scared me to death_

_Don't take me home _

_I can't face that yet_

_I'm ashamed that I'm barely human_

_And ashamed that there's no heart for you to break_

I knew 2's partner, Cato, would be hunting for me. The sounds of anguish he made upon seeing her limp body were enough. So I ran and ran. But he caught up to me. When he pinned me to the ground, he stopped, his sword hanging in the air. Why? I waited. Then, Cato began to talk to me. And I listened. "Did you even know her name?" The question hung in the air. And that is how, Cato, you scared me to death. Because I didn't know it. And that's when it hit me. She was a human. Not much older then you, my little sun or little Rue. And all I saw was a number, not her eyes full of fear. I only heard her cruel taunts, now I know it was only false confidence she carried, but I never really heard her screams. I am not really a human then. But he heard her screams for what they were. And he had loved someone, when I had never. Isn't it strange that a brutal, bloodthirsty killer had more humanity in that moment then I did? It was 1 sadistic Career who showed me the heartless shell that I've become. So in that moment, I let the pain come. Because I didn't want to go home. Didn't want to keep living. Not after what I've become.

_I'm just action and at other times reaction_

_All I owe, all I owe_

_Strides I spent to the finish line_

_I'll give you those_

_Just don't make me go home_

Why did I do it? How many things do we do in our lives that seem like simple reactions? How many mistakes have I made without a second thought? Every day for 5 years my life was composed of just that. Action and reaction. I never thought. It was just too painful. Thoughts brought memories and then there would always be that familiar stab of sadness. But if all I did was go through life with no though, I could avoid those stabbing pains. And this carried itself into the arena. I found out that that was just what killing was. Action and reaction. I had been living my life like a killer all of these years. Now, as I look into the eyes of my own killer, there is one thought on my lips. I am sorry. Sorry for what, it's hard to say. Sorry I killed his sun? Or am I sorry he ever fell in love in the first place? Am I sorry his love was torn apart like mine was? Yes, that was when I realized that I did love you. It doesn't matter that we were young, or that we would both die that way. I loved you. And now that I am thinking and remembering, you loved me too. It was then I realized remembering didn't have to be painful. I could die knowing that I had loved, a pure sweet innocent love. It really was something to remember. But I never got to tell him that I was sorry. It was too late for that. But isn't that always the case?

_Give me something to remember_

_Give me something to remember_

_Something to remember_


	4. Glimmer:Fighter

_After all that you'd put me through_

_You'd think I'd despise you_

_But in the end I want to thank you_

_Cause you've made me that much stronger_

From the start, my life had been filled with put-downs. You'll never make it. You won't come home. You're useless. You won't last a night. With each one, it felt like a tiny piece of me was getting torn out. Someone, a trainer, another potential tribute I was training with, even a parent, just carelessly ripped out those pieces and scattered them every which way. Oh, but those pieces weren't gone forever. It's not like I went through life as a mess of holes. No, that space was filled. But with something else entirely. It's like when you tear a piece of paper apart. You try to put the pieces together with tape. It's together, but it's not the same. It will never be the same. My "tape" was my burning desire to prove them all wrong. It was what held me together. And now, I guess it was also what tore me apart.

_Well I thought that I knew you, thinking you were true_

_Guess I couldn't trust you; your bluff time is up_

_Cause I've had enough_

_You were there by my side, always down for the ride_

_But your joy just came down in flames cause your greed sold me out in shame_

When I was younger, I adored my father. And I was sure he adored me. But then the training came. There came a time, I can't be certain of exactly when, when my own father wouldn't even let me come home. I had to train, he said. I spent my nights at the Center, alone. I felt like no one was on my side. I guess they weren't, because a few days later, when he found out that I hadn't been given the highest score in my training group, he told me I was no daughter of his. His daughter would bring home glory. Every time I heard him talking to someone, he was always talking about my future. Bragging about my accomplishments. But it was all out of greed. He was greedy for some kind of recognition. He was the one who wanted the fame. And he was going to get it through me. Was that the only reason he wanted a child? Was there ever a moment, just one moment when he cared?

_After all of that stealing and cheating you think I hold resentment for you_

_But oh no, you're wrong_

_Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do, I wouldn't know_

_Just how capable I am to pull through_

_So I want to say thank you_

Do you think I would be the person I am today without those put-downs? How could I be as strong as I am now? But there was a time, just once, when I was weak. I thought I would never be able to stand up again. It was a boy. And we were in love. It wasn't just any kind of teenage one-week long love, either. It was a laugh together when we're sure no one is listening kind of love. It was a cry together when we know that no one is caring kind of love. A slow-dance even when it's raining, flowers appearing on my doorstep and eyes lighting up whenever we saw each other kind of love. We swore we would always be together. But in the Games, promises mean nothing. I found that out too late. One second too late. But isn't that always the case? He volunteered the same year I did. Exactly what he promised me he wouldn't do. His love was gone and we were fighting to the death. All in split second. I found out that day, when people came to say their goodbyes and good-lucks that he was cheating. He had been for weeks. But I had my own way of pulling through.

_It makes me that much stronger_

_Makes me work a little bit harder_

_It makes me that much wiser_

_So thanks for making me a fighter_

_Makes me learn a little bit faster_

_Made my skin a little bit thicker_

_Makes me that much smarter_

_So thanks for making me a fighter_

As soon as we reached the arena, I realized he had given me something, even though he had taken away so much. He had given me a burning desire to win. Of course, it was already there. The seed had taken root as soon as I found out my father wasn't letting me come home. It was watered by the words of my trainers, telling me I would be nothing. And now someone was telling me I wasn't good enough for him. So I had to prove them wrong. Had to. Now that I look back on it, I think _why? _Are the opinions of these people so important? But it wasn't just them that gave me my desire. I had to take the action myself. Because deep down inside, I wasn't just proving myself to them. I was proving it all to myself.

_Never saw it coming, all of your backstabbing,_

_Just so you could cash in a good thing before I'd realized your game_

_I heard you're going around playing victim now_

_But don't even begin feeling I'm the one to blame_

_Because you dug your own grave_

_After all of the fights and the lies you want to haunt me_

_But that won't work anymore, no more_

_It's over cause if it weren't for all of your torture_

_I wouldn't know how to be this way now and never back down_

_So I want to say thank you_

It was over. I could have left it at that. But I wanted to hurt you, just like you had hurt me. I wanted to show you that I could move on. I didn't need you, or your sick little game. I'm sure you wanted to haunt me, but I wasn't going to let that happen. So I found someone else. He was my Sponsor trap. And he was more brutal, vicious and strong then you will ever be. That's how they're made in District 2. No matter that he already had a girl. No, I could be just as cruel and unfeeling as you. Oh, she wasn't pleased. But it's not like she could do anything. So small and young. She wouldn't have gotten them anything. And he knew that. I suppose they're all like that. There's no love in this place. Just one little game after another. And I guess I got sick being everyone's pawn. But you know what you taught me? Even the pawn can hold the fate of the game.

_How could this man that I thought I knew_

_Turn out to be so unjust and cruel_

_Could only see the good in you_

_Pretended not to see the truth_

_You tried to hide yourself in lies, disguise yourself_

_Through living in denial_

_But in the end you'll see_

_YOU WON'T STOP ME_

_I am a fighter and I_

_I ain't gonna stop_

_There's no turning back_

_I've had enough_

It would have only taken a split second. Just one hand, reached out to me. One arm to keep me from falling. One look of concern, thrown back in my direction. But it never happened. I tripped. And there was no one there. Isn't that a funny way to die? I guess you could say that was the way my whole life was. Alone. No one ever offered me a hand. Why didn't you just offer me a hand? You forgot me, that's why. I was forgotten. My name will someday just disappear. Forever.

_You thought I would forget_

_But I remembered_

_Cause I remembered_

_I remembered_

_You thought I would forget_

_But I remembered_

_I remembered_


	5. Foxface: Kingdom Come

_Run, run, run away_

_Buy yourself another day_

_A cold wind's whispering secrets in your ear_

_So low only you can hear_

Every second of my life, I've been running. When I run, I can think of nothing else. I can't think of my sisters' tear streaked faces, so helpless looking because they must go to bed hungry yet again. I can't think of my father's defeated face, knowing what he has led our family to become. And yet he did nothing to help us. I ran from the people at the marketplace, my reputation as a thief tarnishing any help I could offer. Yes, stealing was easy. When I had so many mouths to feed. It was just a finger slipped into an unsuspecting pocket or a hand brushing a table when no one was looking. Don't let anyone see you. Don't let anyone know what you've been reduced to. By stealing that food, I was buying myself and my sisters another day. But now that I've been reaped, I have no idea what can. Do I lie for the cameras? Do I act stronger than I'll ever be? Do I feign weakness so as not to be noticed? I have always been good at not being noticed. And I have always been good at running. It's in my blood. My mother ran away one month after my youngest sister had been born. I never had a mother to teach me things every other girl knew. But the cowardly woman did teach me one thing. When you run, you can never look back.

_Run, run, run and hide_

_Somewhere no one else can find_

_Tall trees bend and lean_

_Pointing where to go_

_Where you will still be all alon_e

Hiding. There is nothing else that can give you that feeling of helplessness. When you hide, you are completely at the mercy of your seeker. You have to stay in one small space for however long it takes. Sometimes it truly is torment. Waiting for the seeker to surprise you. Waiting for certain death if they do. When I'm found, I will be trapped. There will be no escape. But for now, I can wait. I could wait an eternity if I had to. But that is not an option. The hours are running out. Being alone adds to the helplessness. As the hours I spend hiding grow longer, the silence is deafening. It can be filled by only my thoughts. And there is nothing worse at this time then to be left with only my own dark thoughts as company. When I found a place to hide, I thought for just a moment that I was safe. But there is no safe. There will never be.

_Don't you fret my dear_

_It'll all be over soon_

_I'll be waiting here for you_

_Run fast as you can, no one has to understand_

_Fly high across the sky from here to Kingdom Come_

_Fall back down to where you're from_

That was just what the eldest of my little sisters had said. Old enough to know where I was going, her face creased with lines of worry far beyond her years, she had pulled me into her grip. "I'll be waiting here for you," she said. Tears made stains on the velvet couch. But they are just water. They will fade. I wondered as I sat there, how many other tears have fallen on this couch, only to fade into nothingness as the years pass? Now that I am in this arena, I realize my fate is similar to that of the tears. After all, do any of these tributes even know my name? But for now, all I can do is run. And when I'm hungry, I steal. I still get that familiar rush of adrenaline. Although, not like at home, food can't buy me another day here. There have been no sponsors. No one has offered to help. But it's not like I'm not used to it. Think about it. If you saw someone, someone so easily missed it seems no one has noticed them yet but you, someone who looks helpless and weak, would you offer them your hand? What if you, like the Gamemakers, believed I could amount to nothing and you were in the middle of a fight to the death? Has your answer changed? So you see how cruel it all is? Right now though, nothing I do can make a difference. So I can be free now. I can fly. If only for a short while.

_Don't you fret my dear_

_It'll all be over soon_

_I'll be waiting here for you _

_For you_

It's plain to see that I am the weakest one left. So it will be over soon. The woods are silent now. There are no cries of pain and fear surrounding me anymore. After all, there are just four of us left. The Killer. The Girl of Fire. The Lover. And me, The Coward. The leaves and sticks crunch underfoot beneath me. I make an effort to quiet my footsteps. There, on a tree stump is a handful of blue berries. Their cruel blue stands out against the dull brown and green of the trees. Nightlock. I remember the trainer's words. "They call it that because it locks in the night." I remember identifying it. I put some into my hands. The blue has already made stains on my palms. So quick. So painless. No one even knew my name. But it is over now. It has been for weeks. I raise the berries to my lips and close my mouth around them. I have been running my whole life. And I did learn something from it all. Never look back.

_Run, run, run away_

_Run, run, run away_


	6. Rue: Dark Days

_Mother, mother_

_Listen to my heart_

_Just as one beat ends, another starts_

_You can hear no matter where you are_

_Sister, hide our love away from the evil we both know._

Sunlight comes through the dusty window, landing on the worn couch in circles. The ends of the couch are frayed, having seen years of worried fingers. Fingers belonging to someone so depressed and in shock that there was nothing else to do. A chorus of words, long familiar to this room fills the air. "I love you." "Stay strong." "Run away." "No, stand and fight." "Just come home." A mother's words came first. "I love you." It was all I said back. Should I have said more? What difference would it have made? I would still be right where I am. "Just come home." Advice given from a girl with only 9 years, but nonetheless the most valued so far. Her face was lined in fear. She had seen enough pain to last a lifetime. I wrapped my arms around her warm brown skin. Almost like the sun. Sun, which played on our backs as we ran through the trees, searching for one bearing the perfect fruit. Sun, making dewdrops glisten finer than any gems found at the Capital, when we played in the meadow, the wildflowers reaching above the tops of our heads. Sun, which there is no more of. I was torn from my sun so long ago. That day, sitting on the couch, how long ago was it? How long have those I loved been living without sun?

_It can see us through these dark days_

_Though they seem to darken as I go_

_Our love will see us through these dark, dark days, sister_

'_Till it lights the way back home_

_Sister, hide our love away_

I remember the first thing that greeted me in the arena was the sun. And I remember thinking _what a strange place to die. _And it was. The sunlight played on the ground, shifting shapes and giving the treetops a kind of glow. I got away somehow. I still don't know exactly what I did. But in that moment, somehow everything went right. I saw flashes of blades but none of them seemed to be going towards me. And by some miracle, there I was in the woods. Safe. I was alone, though. You now, there really is nothing more scary than being alone. I was left with nothing but my own thoughts for days. Just waiting. What was I waiting for? Someone to attack? Maybe I was waiting for the sound of the crashing footsteps of my hunters. A sound that meant certain death. I would be trapped. There would be nowhere to run. And so I sat in my tree and thought about us, little sister. And I thought about your smile, able to light up the dark. You are my little light. You always will be. Our mother used to say that to me all the time. I was her little light in the dark. And now, little sister, you are mine. What I didn't know was that all this time I spent alone; I was really waiting for someone to come save me. And come she did.

_It can turn the whole world upside down_

_Shake it till the sky falls to the ground_

_We don't have to reap the fear they sow_

_Friends, as long as we hide our love away_

_In the good they'll never know_

What is an alliance? Think about it. It isn't as simple as you might think. An alliance is when trust isn't broken. But in the arena, everything was twisted. Alliances became about broken trust. When will you do it? Will you wait until the final 2, when it becomes inevitable, or will you strike when they are weak and unsuspecting? And, more hauntingly, will you look back? So you see why I was hesitant at first. But she said she wasn't going to hurt me. And I believed her. There was warmth in her eyes, something I still can't explain. I was so desperate for warmth, since all that had greeted me was cold. She made me feel so safe. Like if I was with her, nothing could go wrong. And at night, the coldest time of all, we shared each other's warmth. She wrapped her arm around me. That little sleeping bag became an island of protection. An island of love standing alone. I didn't need to feel afraid. I could tuck ally of my fears inside of me, if just for a little while. But I also had to tuck away my love too. Because both of us couldn't make it out. But for now, what did the Capital know? I could feel safe.

_It can see us through these dark days_

_Though they seem to darken as I go_

_Our love will see us through these dark, dark days sister_

_Till it lights our way back home_

_Sister, hide our love away_

She missed him by one second. She could have turned her head around. But she didn't. She was one second too late. Just one second. But isn't that always the case? Now mymother doesn't have her little light. She's left alone in the dark. Are you in the dark too, little sister? Are you scared? Please don't be. I know I wasn't. When I first saw the spear, lodged in me I was very frightened. But it was okay. It was peaceful, actually. There was this beautiful song. _Here it's safe, here it's warm, and here the daisies guard you from every harm. Here is the place where I love you. _I will always love you. And you are safe now. If there is only one thing I could do, I would tell my mother that I am safe. But I can't. What's done is done. What small hope I had; severed.

_Mother, listen to my heart_

_Just as one beat ends_

_Another starts_

_You can hear no matter where you are_


End file.
